Harry Potter and The Watching
by Patronus12
Summary: Basically, Harry Potter characters watch and react to Youtube videos about themselves. Enjoy :)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This first chapter is about the "LITERAL Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Trailer Parody" by Tobuscus. Look it up :)**

* * *

Harry and his friends, enemies, and frenemies were gathered around a... box. A box... with a shining screen. And another box with... were they keys?

"What is this magic?!" Quirell cried. **(Sorcerer's Stone reference ;D)**

"It's a muggle computer," said Hermione.

"Why did that old fool bring us to this?" Voldemort snarled.

"We'll probably find out soon enough," Sirius snapped back, glaring at Voldemort and his cousin (and killer), Bellatrix Lestrange.

She glared back with a smirk, clearly remembering how she had killed him. Harry's fists clenched. Ginny placed her hand on his shoulder, and he visibly calmed, but still glared at Bella.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, before Voldy spoke again.

"This is ridiculous. I have important things to attend to."

"Like... I dunno... world domination?" Ron growled sarcastically.

"How do YOU know? Do you have people spying on me? Is it Snape? I knew killing him was the right thing to do... I mean... No of course not... Why would I?"

"I am right here, you know, _My Lord,_" Snape growled, as the light side snickered at Voldemort's response.

"Oh, WHATEVER. I'm LEAVING. And I'm SO gonna kill that old fool- AGAIN!"

"I technically killed him, you know, because I was like forced."

"SHUT UP, SNAPE! I PLANNED IT!"

"STOP ARGUING, BOTH OF YOU!" Harry shouted.

"Yes, please, do us all a favor," said a calm, amused voice. They all turned to see Dumbledore.

"Well?" Voldemort snapped, fingering his wand. "What's this all about?"

"I have brought you all here to teach you a lesson- what happens when muggles find out about our world.

"We already know that," Malfoy drawled.

"Not from this point of view, you don't."

"What point of view?" James Potter (the first one) asked curiously.

"Youtube."

* * *

They all stared at the screen expectantly as the video loaded. Finally it popped up. They all jumped at the sudden burst of noise as a voice coming from the screen yelled "TOBUSCUS!"

"What in the name of Merlin?" Sirius yelped.

"Listen!" Hemione shushed as music came on.

**"Introductory helicopter nature shot.**

**Bad guy at a safe distance."**

"Hey! It's... me! This seems a little... woah... de-ja-vu!" Voldemort muttered.

**"Second introductory helicopter nature shot.**

**Bad guy at an uncomfortably close distance. (Turn)**

**Careful Harry, he doesn't have a nose."**

"Hey! I do so have a nose! It's just... small...?"

"The MUGGLES know my name, too?!" Harry exclaimed, horrified at the thought of being even MORE famous.

**"Harry need some sleep.**

**And he needs a nose.**

**And he needs some sleep.**

**And some new glasses.**

**And he needs a manicure."**

"I'll kill them all!"

**"Don't sleep yet Harry, he's gonna kill you **

**LOOK OUT!**

**Spell, dodge, too many passengers,**

**Dramatic turn.**

**How does that hold him up?**

**First time he touched a girl."**

"HEY!" Ron shouted indignantly. Hermione just seemed amused.

**"Pan up, pointy roof.**

**Leaf bed, look right.**

**This movie is extremely important."**

"MOVIE?!" A bunch of people yelled simultaneously.

"**Forcefield dissolves.**

**Dramatically raise hand.**

**That train is screwed.**

**Slowly look left.**

**This movie is the most important movie you will ever see.**

**Back up in a library.**

**Raise your hand. (and a wand)**

**Dragon's pissed. Weasley's scared **

**of a bunch of bad guys,**

**but he acts brave, while he runs."**

"HEY!" Ron shouted indignantly (again), and Ginny shushed him.

"**You've gotta buy two tickets"**

"So, not only is it a movie, but it's a movie that's 'Presented in two parts'," Lupin said. James rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for stating the obvious."

**"Masked guy on a broom, swerve.**

**Run throw exploding.**

**Running, closer shot, cast a spell, DUCK!**

**Be careful with that stick, too late."**

"Too late indeed," Voldemort said with a smirk.

Then, it reached a break, in which, on the clip, you could see Harry talking to Voldemort. They could clearly hear the singing dude say "He's grabbing his face, whatever" and they were all successfully creeped out.

"**_Okay, go!_**

**Dragon take off, people running.**

**Downhill people running FLEX.**

**Part 1, November walking.**

**Chase that fire you wizards.**

**Flying horse... lizards."**

"Lizards..." Sirius snorted, "'Cause it rhymes with... wizards... no?" Everyone just stared at him.

**"Look out Harry, too late got him.**

**Help him Ron. (swing)"**

For once, Ron looked smug.

**"Part 2, July 2 burning.**

**People running backwards screaming."**

**"**Voldy looked SO constipated," Fred muttered to George with a snort. A couple people laughed. Voldemort looked murderous.

**"Wave hand, upskirt, windy, kissing,**

**Snape, cast spell, climb, look, **

**Blow up the town."**

The Marauders said "EEW" at the parts where it said 'Kissing' and 'Snape'. Harry, Ginny, and Snape all blushed.

**"Wizard Lightning Battle."**

Everyone burst into laughter. The Weasley twins were actually rolling around on the floor. Don't ask why. No one will EVER know.

**"Zoom, huge shiny P,**

**Then other letters come out."**

It came to a close with a bunch of adds for the creator of the video, Tobuscus. Fred and George hopped up from the ground and started applauding. Everyone else just stared at the strange face they put on Hermione in the photo they had on there. When the twins saw what everyone was staring at, they immediately started rolling around on the floor laughing again. Dumbledore closed the computer.

"Well, it seems like the muggles favor Harry," Lupin said thoughtfully.

"Again, I'll kill them all," Voldemort growled.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so a lot of that probably didn't make sense if you haven't seen that video. So, I suggest you look it up- again, it's called "LITERAL Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Parody" by Tobuscus. Normally, when I search "Harry Potter deathly hallows literal" its the first one to pop up. It's HILARIOUS :)**

**Anyway, review please, and I will get the next chapter up ASAP! It will probably be about a episode of Potter Puppet Pals, most likely "The Mysterious Ticking Noise", so if you haven't already seen that then I suggest you look that up too.**

**Thanks for reading :)**

**-Breeze :) :) :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: You asked for updates, so here you go :) Like I said in the last chapter, this chapter is about The Potter Puppet Pals' "The Mysterious Ticking Noise". Enjoy XD**

* * *

The next day, they all gathered in the same place as the day before, the Great Hall at Hogwarts. This time, however, they were eager to begin, and they sat in anticipated silence until Dumbledore walked in.

"Great, we're all here. Let's get started."

* * *

The music started as a sign came onto the screen. It read '_The Potter Puppet Pals_'. When it disappeared, another sign came up that read '_The Mysterious Ticking Noise'._ A ticking noise started and an odd-looking Snape puppet appeared. The real Snape frowned, but no one said a word.

**"Hmm... What is that mysterious ticking noise? Not over here... Not over there... Hmm... Kind of... Catchy..."**

Then he started to sing to the tune of the ticking.

**"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape. Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."**

A Dumbledore puppet popped up.

**"Dumbledore!**

**Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.**

**Dumbledore!"**

Ron's puppet joined in.

"**Ron, Ron, Ron WEAsley! Ron, Ron, Ron WEAsley!"**

Puppet Hermione appeared.

"**Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione Hermione.**

Then, puppet!Harry started to sing.

**"Harry Potter, Harry Potter, UHN! Harry Potter, Harry Potter, UHN!"**

They all sang simultaneously for a few moments before all of the puppets except for Snape and Harry dropped below the stage.

"**SNAPE! HARRY! SNAPE! HARRY! SNAPEHARRYSNAPEHARRYSNAPEHARRY-**

**DUMBLEDORE!**

**HEEERMIONE!**

**DUMBLEDORE!"**

They all resumed singing simultaneously for a few moments, then they all started to sing the same thing.

"**Singing our song, all day long at HOOOOOGWAAAAARTS!**

Then, puppet!Ron walked to the side of the stage and announced,

"**Hey, everyone! I found the source of the ticking! It's a pipe bomb!**

**YAAAAAAY!" **They all yelled, until the bomb exploded with an explosion of cloth (which is what the puppets were made of) and light.

"We're all so DUMB!" Ron said in disgust.

Then, Voldy puppet walked onto the screen.

"**Mwahahahaahahaaaaa!**

**Voldemort, Voldemort, ooh, Voldy Voldy Voldy Voldemort!"**

And a _"The End"_ sign popped up.

Voldemort burst out laughing, and he sounded like a maniac.

"You said that we were going to learn why introducing our world to Muggles was bad-" Fred (or George...?) started.

"-And I'm starting to see your point," George (or Fred...?) finished in disgust.

Meanwhile, Voldy kept laughing. Tears of laughter were even starting to fill his EEEEVIIIIL eyes. "They all blow up! And- and- I start SINGING!" He burst into another wave of mad laughter.

Everyone else walked away.

"THEY BLEW UP! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading and for all your favs and follows! It means a lot to me!**

**And thank you very, VERY much to EmberskyofShadowclan for your review! I love your pen name, by the way- Warriors series, right? I love those books XD**

**Remember, the more you review, the more I update!**

**Thanks again!**

**-Breeze**

**P.S, I need a vote- The next chapter is going to be another Potter Puppet Pals, so here is the question- should I do Snape's Diary or Draco Puppet? Please submit your answer in a review! :) :) :)**


	3. Chapter 3- IGNORE!

**A/N: Ignore this chapter... I'm just doing it cuz I tried to replace the author's note chappie with the next chapter, but for some reason it's not working, sooo... Just skip to the next chapter. Sorry!  
****-Breeze**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello, everyone!**

**I am soooo sorry for the author's note chapter. Well, I'm here with the new chapter! So, hopefully you all get this...**

**I am really sorry for not updating in so long :P This story is not my first priority, so I only do it every once in a while. Sorry...**

**I read your reviews (thanks for all of them!) and the winner iiissss...**

**SNAPE'S DIARY! Confetti!**

**I might do Draco Puppet some other time, so look for that! Also, I take suggestions, and I already got Harry Potter Draw-My-Life. I had to look it up to see what it is, and I LOVE IT! So many good ideas for it! Maybe I'll use it as a break from Potter Puppet Pals after a couple more of those chapters...**

**Oh and by the way, I may change the style of how I do this a little, to make it easier. Basically, just putting their names before what they say in the videos. Let me know how it works for your reading convenience!**

**This story may not have the most views, but it has the most favs and follows! SO thanks! :D**

**I won't keep you any longer. SOooo, here is the next chapter! Enjoy :)**

**P.S: THIS IS NOT THE EXTENDED VERSION OF SNAPE'S DIARY.**

* * *

Dumbledore was already there by the time the first person walked in the next morning. That person just happened to be-

"Good morning, Tom," Dumbledore said pleasantly.

"Dumbledore," Voldemort replied, with a curt nod. They sat on opposite sides of the room, but Dumbledore could see the Dark Lord sneaking quick glances in his direction every few moments.

"Is there something you need, Tom?"

"What? From YOU? No! No..."

A few moments of silence, and then...

"Well, actually, _surprisingly, _yes..." Voldemort muttered nervously and very uncharacteristically. "I was, er, wondering-"

"You are curious as to what we will be watching today," Dumbledore stated, rather than asked.

Voldemort sighed. "Well, yes..."

"Well, Tom, I am afraid that I cannot reveal that information just yet," Dumbledore told him.

"Old coot," Voldemort whispered, loudly enough for the man to hear, with a glare. Dumbledore, who had indeed heard, merely smiled pleasantly and began to hum.

Soon, everyone else came in, talking loudly. Once they had all taken seats around the computer and Voldemort had moved closer, Dumbledore said, "Excellent! Now, let us begin our third video."

* * *

Music started, and a red curtain appeared, which moved to the side to reveal a sign, which read:

**The Potter Puppet Pals**

"Ooh!" Voldemort said with frustration. "Not this puppet nonsense again! I did like the ending to the last one, but they really are just a load of waffle!"

Ignoring the last comment, Dumbledore answered, "Oh, we have a lot more of these to go..."

The sign that came up next mortified Snape into speechlessness and left the Marauders (yes, even Lupin and Pettigrew; some habits never leave you, even when you grow more mature or betray your best friends and join the Dark side), Harry, and some of the Weasleys rubbing their hands together in anticipation.

**Snape's Diary**

Puppet!Harry came running onto the screen, panting and holding a large book.

**Harry: Oh my God! Look what I found!**

**Ron: Is that a book?**

"Duh," random Hogwarts student number one said.

**Hermione: I know a thing or two about books-**

"Of course you do, Hermione," multiple people said at the same time, including Harry and Ron, who each patted one of her shoulders. She rolled her eyes.

**-and that's a book!**

**Harry: It's not just any book, guys!**

**Ron: Is it a young-adult vampire romance novel?**

Many odd strangled hissing noises came from half the room, and Cedric looked rather offended.

**TEN SECONDS LATER**

"Why are you in the corner, Ron?" Hermione asked, sounding rather confused. Ron's ears grew very red, and Harry snorted.

**Harry: Anyway, I just happened to find this book in Snape's bedroom in a locked trunk under his bed. It's his diary!**

"Why exactly were you searching through Snape's things, Harry?" Fred asked.

"And where can we find his bedroom? I'd like to know so we can sabotage it- I mean, ahem, what? I didn't say anything," George muttered nervously, glancing at Dumbledore who, oddly enough, winked at him.

"I have no clue, I didn't really say any of these things! It's just a stupid puppet!" Harry exclaimed.

**Ron: Wow! Shall we read it?**

Snape put his head in his hands, but it went unnoticed by most people, who were staring intently at the screen.

**Harry: I have a better idea! Let's read it!**

"Thanks mate," Ron growled. Harry shot him a half-apologizing, half-annoyed glance.

**Hermione: Oh what a fascinating character study this will be!**

"That's SO Hermione- always looking for the learning/work part of everything." Hermione then hit Ron in the head with a book that she had conjured up out of nowhere.

**Harry: 'Kay, this is the first entry. 'Dear diary...'**

The screen faded to show Snape sitting at a desk, writing in the diary with a quill. The diary entry was heard in Snape's voice, presumably in his thoughts. Everyone was silent, either out of dread (Snape) or anticipation (everyone else).

**Snape: Today, I ate some oatmeal for my breakfast. It was flavorless and watery. I thought of my mother. I cried.**

Everyone looked behind them to see Snape looking as though he was about to cry, though not over his mother...

**Ron: I'm hungry!**

**Harry: What else is new, fattie?-**

Ron looked as though he was about to say something, but Harry beat him to it.

"Don't ANY of you dare comment," Harry growled, in defense of his best friend. "If any one of you agrees..."

The room remained silent. Harry gave a satisfied nod, and Ron sent him a grateful look.

**-Let's get to the good stuff.**

**Snape: Today, I put on my raincoat and traveled to Knockturn Alley. I purchased a pair of fancy mice. When I brought them home, one devoured the other, and then died of loneliness. I felt envy.**

"Well, at least they were better than SCABBERS!" The twins, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Sirius all turned to glare at Pettigrew.

James looked rather confused. "Scabbers?"

**Harry: This is hilarious!**

**Hermione: Oh look Harry, I see your name!**

**Ron: Ooh, you're good at reading, Hermio-**

"Stop flirting, Ron!" George said with a smirk.

**Harry: WHAT?!**

**Snape: Today, that Potter boy showed me his middle finger.**

A muggleborn shouted, "Ooh, scandalous!"

**When I attempted to punish him with detention, he shoved me into a wall screaming, 'Bother, BOTHER!' over and over.**

Snape winced. Ron smirked. McGonagall frowned. Voldemort actually found himself enjoying this.

**Later, he and his orange friend-**

"Being ginger is COOL!"

**-repeated the violent act until I lost consciousness. Tonight, I prayed for the first time in twenty years. I prayed for the end.**

Snape finally found his voice. "If any one of you ever tries that, I will make sure that you are expelled!"

"What if you've already left Hogwarts?" James whispered to Sirius with a grin.

**Harry: I remember that, Ron! Give me five!**

**Ron: You already took my money, Harry!**

Harry and Ron face-palmed, and Hermione and Ginny tried but failed to hold back their giggles.

**Harry" Ugh, never mind...**

**Snape: I lost a button on my cloak today. Minerva pointed it out in front of the entire faculty. Oh, cruel attention.**

**Button, oh button, oh where hath thou fled?**

**Did thee tarry too long amongst fabric and thread?**

**Did thee roll off my bosom and cease to exist?**

**How I wish I could follow thee into the mist...**

"Wow, Snivellus, what a depressing back-story," Sirius said with a grin.

**Ron: What is a bosom, Harry?**

**Harry: Umm...**

**Hermione: Yeah, tell him, Harry!**

**Harry: Oh, look, another page!**

**Snape: Today while in the bathtub-**

**Harry, Ron, and Hermione: Eew!**

**Snape: -I fell asleep and had a nightmare. I was riding a thestral through a thunderstorm. Every thunderclap resolved into ****_their _****voices. 'Bother, BOTHER!' Suddenly, it became music. I was at the Yule Ball with Lily Evans.**

Lily looked over at Snape curiously, but he avoided her gaze.

**I asked her to dance. She asked me to die.**

James sent his wife a proud look, earning him a punch in the shoulder by said woman. No one heard Snape stifle a sob.

**Would that I could, Lily. Would that I could.**

**Harry: My mum was awesome!**

**Snape: When I awoke, my skin was prune-like from the tepid bath water, and I was late for golf with Lucius Malfoy.**

**Ron: Ooh, I like prunes!**

Then, a naked Dumbledore (PUPPET!) popped up next to them.

**Dumbledore: Did somebody say 'prunes'?**

**Ron: I said prunes! How did he know?**

**Dumbledore: What are you monkeys up to, studying for class?**

**Harry: No, we're invading Professor Snape's privacy by reading his personal diary we stole from his room.**

"Way to be blunt, Harry," Fred 'praised'.

"Yeah, honesty is the best policy!" George added (sarcastically).

**Dumbledore: But... you don't have any prunes, do you?**

"You're not even in _trouble_?" James and Sirius exclaimed, sending bewildered, yet proud looks at their son/godson.

"That must be a new record or something!" Sirius added.

**Harry: I'm afraid not.**

**Dumbledore: I'm very disappointed in you, Harry.**

"Oh, so NOW he's in trouble! Because he doesn't have any _prunes!_"

Puppet!Dumbledore walked away, and Puppet!Harry turned his attention back to the diary.

**Harry: Okay, back to the stinky book!**

**Snape: Today, the orange one accidentally drank one of my more expensive elixirs. He promptly vomited a glittering rainbow of foul waste.**

"Oh yes, very lovely, Ronald," Ginny said, wrinkling her nose.

**The classroom erupted with applause, triggering my migraine. I aborted the class and was left to clean the boy's sick. Halfway through, Argus Filch showed up and bragged about his many affairs with Hogsmeade barmaids. Then, he told me I smelled of broccoli and left without wishing me a happy birthday. I thought of my father. I cried...**

**Harry: This got boring. Let's write a new entry!**

**Ron: That's a really fun idea!**

**Hermione: Here's one of the quills I carry with me at all times!**

**Harry: Okay... I am Snape. I'm so sad because I poop my pants all the time. I don't have any friends because I stink like broccoli and poop. I teach potions to Harry Potter, and it's really boring because he's so cool, and it makes me have depression. Okay, I think I'll go cry now because- er, but not before I poop my pants. 'Cau- bye.**

"That was real mature of you, Harry," Hermione commented sarcastically, trying to block out the sounds of the twins, Ron, Harry, James, Sirius, and even Lupin laughing hysterically. Snape was simply scowling at them all.

**Ron: Ha ha! Can I try?**

**Harry: Be my guest!**

**Ron: I... ammm... Sss...**

**Hermione: Okay Ron, that was a good try.**

Then, Puppet!Snape walked in.

"Oooh yes!" James cheered. "I can't wait to see his reaction!"

**Snape: Ugh, someone knocked me unconscious and ransacked my room. Wait a minute, that book! What are you doing?!**

**Harry: Snape! Ron stole your diary!**

**Snape: WHAT?! You didn't read it, did you?**

**Harry: Oh, he read it alright. He read it all!**

**Snape: This is unacceptable!**

**Ron: I liked the story about the button, Snape.**

**Snape: You- you did?**

**Ron: It made me sad, thinking about that little button, lost and alone.**

"Cute, Ron."

"Shut up!"

**I hope you find your button, Snape.**

**Snape: So do I, orange one. So do I...**

**Ron: I like buttons!**

The video ended, and they turned to Dumbledore.

"Yes?" he asked.

They all shrugged, and stood up and left, until Snape, Voldemort, and Dumbledore were alone.

"I'm sorry, Severus," Dumbeldore said kindly. "It was necessary."

Voldemort smirked. "Yeah, sorry about your button, Snape!"

Snape thought of his grandparents. He cried...


End file.
